I’ve told this story twice to clients in the last two days and they found it significant. Feels like it’s something I should write up! Hope it strikes a note with you as well!
I’ve not worn contacts since I had my oldest! Something about a premie – total lack of sleep and exhaustion that made them insufferable in my eyes. I’ve had two people in the last six months say something to me about trying them again. And, I now respond after two nudges rather than waiting for the third.
So, when I took my youngest to get new glasses I decided to get contacts for me too! I told the optometrist I had experienced some damage to my vision with kidney failure during my first pregnancy (That’s another story – and it might be coming out as part of a “Miracles” chapter in a book shortly – I’ll keep you posted!).
So, I explained the damage and discussed it. The optometrist looked bored, didn’t ask me much about it and wrote nothing down. When I tried the contacts on and told him I wasn’t sure whether they were good/right – he impatiently told me “They either make things clearer or they don’t!” Grrr! Life isn’t always that simple!
I agreed to try them. I went back a week later and this time I got him on a better day. I explained more of my issues to him. That I can’t read white letters on a black background. Very little night driving for me. That I got headaches when I tried to read more than five minutes for a full year after I delivered my first. That the swelling with the kidney failure had pushed on the nerves in my eyes and that every opthalmologist in the area had come to check out my eyes while I was still in the hospital because I was INTERESTING. This time he paid more attention to me and made some notes.
I was able to tell him about how the central vision in one eye is mostly shot and the magic and mystery of the human body has allowed me to compensate for the deficits so that I can mostly function like a normal seeing human being 🙂. But that when I really THINK about seeing and FOCUS my attention on what I can see and what I can’t … I get headaches, nausea, frustration and more. But that when I, say, focus on driving the car and chatting with my passenger, my vision is just fine. In fact I was able to test at 20/20 when I was chatting and not TRYING too hard. When I REALLY LOOK AND FOCUS AND TRY … it doesn’t go so well.
In this world of getting it right, ironing out wrinkles and problem solving … it’s hard to let something alone. It’s hard to say – maybe it’s just fine as it is!
Yet when I let go, surrender, forget …and trust … I can see all I need to and MORE! I free myself up to enjoy life!