When we experience change or growth, it is natural to have some time reevaluating who we are and what our place is in the world. Yet people (and me) often resist that or feel uncertain during the process! I’ve noticed this pattern over the years with clients as well so I wanted to share what I find.
When someone takes on a new course of study, a new job, sinks into a new relationship or glimpses a new view of the world, they often have a time of what is perceived as low self esteem. In reality what we are experiencing is our Solar Plexus Chakra getting an upgrade. It is reshaping to hold who we are now and broadcast this out to the world – which looks like shining your light. This doesn’t happen instantly, the solar plexus chakra is connected to the mental field so changes in this chakra don’t take full effect until they line up with our understanding.
Let me give you an example. I began seeing clients for Healing Touch in 2003. By 2006 I decided to attend shaman school. By that time I was mentoring other people in Healing Touch and felt like I had something to share as a beginning expert of sorts. So, going to shaman school I felt like I’d bring with me this understanding of energy and working with people that would serve me. What ended up happening was that I felt confident during the times we worked one on one in someone’s field in class, and that was about it.
When I left class I came back and questioned who I was as a healer: Was I good at any of it? Was I special in any way? Was I more about Healing Touch or the shamanic work? What were my true gifts? Was there one program I aligned with more than another? Who was I really? How did this work effect my relationships?
All of these questions were exhausting and truly looked like I had low self esteem. Rather than embodying the energy of “expert” which I had felt in Healing Touch – I took the energy of “beginner” everywhere I went. I asked questions and became unsure of my own answers.
It was not a comfortable process. However, a few months after my first shaman class – it had integrated, I felt confident in both modalities and good about who I was and my gifts. In fact my vibration was higher and my field was stronger and more radiant than before I began the shamanic work. This is not a comparison of the two programs (both of which are incredible – both of which I highly recommend) but an unfolding of my own process. What felt like low self esteem was a recalibration to a new and higher level. Of course this happened for me with each of the many classes as I went and again as I finished the program. Becoming conscious of the pattern, I became more patient with myself through the transition phase.
This is just one example of what happens to us over and over in life. A year ago I woke up and realized I no longer have a kid in elementary school (my youngest daughter is now in 7th grade). My time volunteering other than field trips was done. That was a transition for me. Gratefully she is still happy for me to go on field trips! My oldest is about to enter college. It will happen for me again around that experience as I learn to trust her and trust myself in this new phase of our relationship. It will likely free up my time for more good to come my way – we’ll see. No matter what, it will likely bring a change that will allow me to step into more of my unique journey. For me to shine my own light even more brightly as I will be phasing a little further from the “caretaker role” that has been so present for the last 16+ years.
I’m having another transition as I write the book I’m working on. Not only am I integrating the concept and energy of Author into my field but I am building my field and solar plexus so that I can hold the energy beautifully when this new book goes out into the world.
These transitions are ongoing and humbling. Yet the other side of these experiences I always feel more whole, more of who I am, and more radiant. The new me is an ever evolving and improving shining being. My true spirit is more and more visible with each of these shifts.
So many of us are in transition at the moment I felt called to share this understanding with you. To help you see and name what you are experiencing. Know that you’re going somewhere GOOD no matter how it feels at the moment. Know that this world needs you to shine your light brightly and trust your own process of evolution. May this knowing give you patience and allow for excitement as you eagerly await your next unfolding.